Experimental TV: The Bachelorette Edition

For my second round of Experimental TV I decided to watch The Bachelorette.  I’ve never been a fan of this show, although I did watch the Trista version way back in the day.  To me this show has always seemed like some gag-inducing cheesefest where contestants attempt to search for “true love” in the incredibly short time span of six weeks.  Completely unrealistic and completely the kind of show I detest…or so I thought.  I was really dreading watching The Bachelorette, but as I got into it I was surprised at the mixed reactions I had towards it.  Shockingly, I didn’t entirely hate the show, but I also didn’t really like the show either.  It wasn’t a love/hate relationship per se, it was more of a sort of like/kind of hate relationship – if that makes any sense.  The show didn’t make me want to punch my TV like “I Think I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” did last week, so that’s a good.  Basically, my reactions to the show can be narrowed down to two categories: The Are You Kidding Me Moments and The Oh Crap, I Think I’m Getting Sucked In Moments.

The Are You Kidding Me??!! Moments:

There were many of these moments throughout the show.  The first of which is when I learned Michael is a Break Dance Instructor.  That’s a real job?? Seriously?? And you’re so proud that this is your “real” job that you broadcast it to all of America?  Ummm…okay, hope it works out for you.  Break Dance Instructor induced another Are You Kidding Me Moment when he used zip lining as a metaphor for love.  I know we’re not in the days of Shakespeare anymore and men tend not to write beautiful sonnets for women, but come on, you can do better than this.  Zip lining?  Are you going to use break dancing for your next metaphor…actually that would be kind of cool, so let me know if you do.

The next and biggest Are You Kidding Me Moment involved Ed.  During this episode, Ed talked to his boss and found out that if he stayed on the show, he would most likely lose his job.  Coming from somebody who’s been desperately searching for a job and unemployed for the past eight months in this crappy economy, let me tell you Ed – it’s not so fun.  Ed did seem to struggle with the decision for a bit, but thankfully he made the right decision and left the show to go back to his job.  Here comes the Are You Kidding Me Moment though.  Jillian was disappointed that he did this and didn’t understand why he wasn’t willing to sacrifice his job for her after knowing her for only three weeks…ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!  She even had the audacity to tell him that once he meets a girl he’s crazy about to “not let work get in the way” of the relationship.  Reality check time.  Yes, Jillian it sucks that you felt a connection to him and he left, but you cannot ask a guy you’ve only known a few weeks to give up his career for you.  Especially when you’re not 100% sure he was “the one.”  God forbid this poor boy choose you and then three episodes later you decide you’re not so into him and boot him from the show.  So I applaud you Ed for being the only smart one on the show and going back to your job.

There were a couple other Are You Kidding Me Moments that stood out to me as well.  One, when Jillian kept the not-so-attractive and totally messing with her mind Tanner guy.  I’m sure the producers told her to keep him on, because he creates drama and he’s highly annoying (two big pluses in the reality TV world).  Two, when Wes plugged his upcoming CD…actually, I thought that was kind of funny.  Let’s move on to the other moments now.

The Oh Crap, I Think I’m Getting Sucked In…Moments:

Surprisingly, there were a lot of these moments as well and it all has to do with a boy named Jesse.  Ohhh Jesse, when I first saw you on the screen I thought to myself, “Damn that boy is hot” and from there it just got worse.  First of all, you’re a Wine Maker and that alone is sexy and second of all, you looked really good shirtless during the hot tub scenes.  The more time you spent on the screen the more I kept thinking, “What’s going on? I’m totally getting sucked in. I actually want to know what happens with Jillian and Jesse” and that scared the crap out of me.  I’m not gonna lie, I think I might have a little crush on Jesse and I kind of want to watch more of him…but I kind of also don’t want to watch another episode of The Bachelorette, so this leaves me in a bit of a pickle.  You can see where I’m torn and this second edition of Experimental TV has definitely proved more interesting than the first.  It’s stirred up emotions in me I totally didn’t expect and I’m still debating whether or not to watch next week’s episode.  If I do watch, I’ll most likely Tivo through all the parts that don’t include Jesse.

Overall, this week’s experiment was much more fascinating and I’m glad I chose The Bachelorette to watch.  Even though I don’t agree with the show’s premise, I can see why people enjoy it and why they tune in week after week to see what happens.  In all honesty, I’m shocked I didn’t come out of this experiment still completely hating the show.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not a fan of The Bachelorette, but I’m not feeling the extreme hatred I did last week after watching “I’m a Celebrity…”  Maybe my expectations are just lowered from watching that show first.  So boys and girls, tune in next week for another edition of Experimental TV.  I’m taking suggestions as to what to watch – so feel free to leave some in the comments sections!  And on that note, I’d like to end this week’s edition with two very important first date tips that Jesse and Jillian broke on the show and that I’m calling “Krissy’s Not So Sexy on The First Date Talk:”

Number one: Talking about your ex who you just broke up with and was madly in love with…not so sexy.

Number Two: The fact that you want eight million babies…definitely not so sexy.

Krissy Does TV Is Now On Twitter!!

I finally sucked it up and  joined Twitter.  This means you guys can now follow me (by the way – I’m really not a fan of this terminology – it makes me feel all cult like) and get up to the minute updates on my musings and ramblings about what’s on TV.  I’ll even be starting some days off with a very inspirational television quote, because what better way to start your morning than with a quote from 90210?  So join the cool kids and check out the link below to follow Krissy Does TV on Twitter!

Krissy Does TV Twitter Style

An Ode To Steve Sanders

Oh, Steve Sanders how I heart you.  You are the most underrated yet pivotal character of 90210.  Without you, 90210 just wouldn’t have been the same.  You were overshadowed by Brandon, Dylan, and eventually even little David Silver.  But you didn’t let this phase you.  You stayed true to yourself and just kept on trucking.  You always brought a little something extra to the show, whether it was the amazing poodlesque mullet you rocked in the early years or your cheesy one-liners.  You were what people in the 1950s called a horndog.  I don’t really know what that means, but it seems to suit you.  You were the classic cheesy guy coming on to a plethora of women, who could not resist that sparkling Sanders’ charm.  You even somehow managed snag a smart chick like Claire Arnold, so props to you Steve.

What I love most about you though is your amazing fashion sense.  You took ’90s fashion to a whole new level.  Everything you wore had that special ’90s flare.  Playing volleyball, you rocked out in some teeny neon bathing suit trunks and sported a very manly tank top.  Even playing baseball, you put the extra effort in to really become that character of “baseball coach” and proudly wore your capri-cut baseball pants and matching cropped belly shirt.  It was poetry through clothing with you Steve and this is why I’d like to nominate you for the Face of Early ’90s Fashion.  Because let’s face it, nobody did it better than you, Steve Sanders, and nobody ever will.

To me, Ian Ziering, you will always be Steve Sanders.  I don’t care if you somehow manage to score another TV show part or if I awkwardly run into you late night in LA and scream out, “Holy crap, it’s Steve F-ing Sanders” when I think my car window is closed when in fact it is not and you can totally hear me…in my eyes, you will always be Steve.  Maybe it’s time and maybe the world is ready for, dare I say it…..a Steve Sanders spin-off?  Who am I kidding, the world will never be ready for a TV show as bold and daring as that.  So maybe it’s better we leave it this way Steve.  Maybe we just let you drift off into the ’90s pop-culture memory…and fade away like hand print fading from a hypercolor t-shirt.

Experimental TV: I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Edition

Now that it’s summer hiatus and there isn’t much new on TV to watch or write about, I’ve decided to take on an experiment of sorts.  Each week I will force myself to sit through a show I can’t stand, but for some inexplicable reason gets a lot of press and somewhat decent ratings.  It’s going to be painful, but interesting…I hope.  For the first edition, I decided to watch the reality show I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.  This damn show is in the news every day – why????  I could care less if Hedi and Spencer Pratt have quit the show…oh no wait they’re back…oh they quit again…just kidding now they’re back and one of them is dying or some shit.  Ugghhhh…make it go away.  Okay, back to the experiment.  After suffering through this ridiculous show here are my thoughts on it.

First of all, let’s start with the title “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.”  Ummmm…I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no, you’re not celebrities.  I’m not even sure who half of you are and I’m pretty on top of my celeb gossip.  Let’s check out the list of “celebrities” on the show:

Heidi and Spencer Pratt: Two douches who waded through the douche pool of LA to somehow find each other and morph into the Uber-Douche.  Oh and they really heart Jesus or at least they claim this on the show.  Sorry Heidi and Spencer, but I just talked to Jesus and he says, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Stephen Baldwin: Alec Baldwin’s brother who made a couple movies in the ’90s.  Not famous.

Daniel Baldwin: Same as Stepehn Baldwin, cept he didn’t make a couple movies in the ’90s.

Janice Dickinson: Okay Janice, I’ll give this one to you.  You’re kind of a celebrity, but only kind of.

Sanjaya Malakar: People voted for this kid on American Idol, because he massively sucked and they thought it was funny.  This doesn’t make you a celebrity, this makes you a national joke.

Torrie Wilson: Can someone please tell me who this chick is?  NBC says she’s a former pro-wrestler, but she weighs like 90 lbs.  How can she be a wrestler?  I feel like my 13 year old cousin could take her on and win.

John Salley: No idea. Athlete?? Maybe??

Lou Diamond Phillips: Hi, my name is Lou.  I was La Bamba and famous in the ’80s.  Now…not so much.

Frangela: I’ve seen these chicks on those Vh1 I Love the Whatever shows.  They’re actually pretty funny, but I still wouldn’t call them celebrities.

Now let’s talk about the show and my reactions to it.  Firstly, the so called “torture” of Heidi and Spencer that was so hyped up in the media was the biggest let down ever.  That was not torture.  You know what torture is?  Having to watch these two tools on TV.  Next time, try making them watch clips of themselves on The Hills over and over and over again.  No one can survive that kind of psychological torture and actually, this is what the U.S. uses now instead of water-boarding.

Next impression. I thought I was watching a reality show, when did this become bible camp?  Seriously, I haven’t heard so many people talk about God and Jesus since the CCD classes my Mom made me take as a kid.

I really can’t stand thinking about this show anymore, so here are a few of final thoughts on this farce of a show.  One, I felt worse for the animals in that weird tank of water challenge than I did for Janice or Sanjaya.  Two, Heidi went to the hospital…but I heard she came back, yet another let down.  Three, I had to turn this show off a little over an hour into it and four, I’m never watching it again.

Check back next week to see how my second edition of Experimental TV goes.  I’m thinking about suffering through The Bachelorette, but if guys have any suggestions for another horrible show – feel free to let me know!

Top Ten Reasons I Heart Kid Genius Week on Jeopardy

Jeopardy has always been my favorite game show.  I watched it growing up with my Dad and now that I’m backing living in the retirement home (aka my parents house) I’ve started watching it regularly again.  I don’t wanna brag or anything, but I’m pretty freaking awesome at TV or any other pop culture category.  This makes my Dad who paid for my very expensive Master’s Degree extremely proud…or sad…I’m not really sure, I keep forgetting to ask if those tears he cries are ones of joy or disappointment…I’m gonna go with joy.  Without a doubt though, my  favorite week on Jeopardy is Kid Genius Week.  The real name of the week is “Kid Week,” but let’s get real.  It’s a whole week of 10 year-old prodigies, so it’s a little more than just “Kid Week.”  You’re probably wondering why I prefer this week to others such as Tournament of Champions or College Week, so let’s take a look at why I heart Kid Genius Week oh so much.

1. I know all the answers.  It’s awesome.  It makes me feel like the smartest person ever.
2. Yelling at the 10 year-olds on TV when they miss a question is surprisingly fun.  For example, who wouldn’t want to yell at their TV “Hah! You dumb bastard.  World War II ended in 1945 NOT 1944.  Who’s the prodigy now, bitch?”
3. It’s the one Tournament on Jeopardy I could actually win.  I have this elaborate plan to tell the producers I have Jack Syndrome and that even though I look like I’m in my 20′s, I’m actually 9.  It’s a no fail plan really.
4. Most of the kids on the show may be prodigies, but they’re also socially awkward and watching socially awkward kids tell their Jeopardy stories is hilarious.  Always great to hear that little Penny’s best friend is her imaginary friend shaped like a piano.
5. Sometimes Alex Trebek gets annoyed with the kids.  You can kind of tell he’s actually not too fond of the concept.
6. For the first time, I’m smarter than all of the contestants and when you’re unemployed – you’ll take whatever validation you can get.
7. The questions are ridiculously easy.
8. Did I mention I know ALL the answers???
9. It’s nice break from the usual pompous asses who compete on the show.
10. Seriously, I know ALL the answers.  I would freaking sweep that tournament if I was allowed to compete on it.  I’m talking like “And our returning champion Krissy, with an astounding 2 day total of $800,000.”  It would be incredible.

The Most Awesome Kid Shows From the 80′s

Last week’s post about Saturday Morning Cartoons got me thinking about all the other incredible shows I watched as a kid.  There were a lot of amazing shows back then and, unfortunately, the majority of them are no longer aired – not even in reruns (lame).  All I can say is yay for TV on DVD.  Due to this nifty little phenomenon, I can still watch the shows I watched when I was 6…even though I’m 26…but whatever, the shows are still awesome – no matter what your age.  So let’s take a quick trip down memory lane and check out some of the most awesomest kid shows from the 80′s.

Punky Brewster:  This was probably my all-time favorite show as a kid.  Punky Brewster was my idol.  I tried to dress like her (hello mismatched shoes and bandanas around my leg) and was obsessed with her awesomely painted bedroom.  Who am I kidding, I’m still obsessed with that room.  It is the coolest bedroom EVER.  If I could paint my bedroom like that now and not be jugded, I totally would.  Punky was seriously empowering for kids.  She made it seem like anything was possible with her “Punky Power!!” and she had an totally cool side-kick dog named Brandon.  Sometimes I even learned valuable life lessons, like how to trick your friends into helping you make a sweet ass tree-house.  Man I miss this show.

Silver Spoons: They had a running train IN their house that they rode around on – enough said.  Oh…and I had a hugely awkward crush on Ricky Schroder.

Jem and the Holograms: What little girl in the 80′s didn’t love Jem?  She was truly outrageous and I think deep down we all wish we had a Synergy to transform us into rocking world famous popstars.  Also, they might have been cartoons, but they had some killer fashion sense.  The Holograms and Misfits took 80′s fashion to a whole new level.  Did I mention Jem had a smoking hot purple-haired boyfriend named Rio?

Just the Ten of Us: Ohhhh…Just the Ten of Us…you were the red-headed stepchild of Growing Pains.  You were spun off from a well-received and popular sitcom, yet no one loved you as much as they loved the Seavers…except me.  I adored this show.  Mostly becaues of the uber-slutty Lubbock twins, Cindy and Wendy.  I’m sure it’s not great for a 7 year-old to idolize these chicks, but I did.  I thought they were the coolest…I wonder if that had any influence on me growing up…interesting.

Zoobilee Zoo: I’m not really sure why I loved this show as much as I did.  It was about this trippy land with people dressed up as animals such as a Cockatoo and a Bear.  It was on crazy early too – I’m talking like 7 am and even as a kid I hated getting up early on the weekends.  My brother loved the show too.  He had a super awkward crush on the Pink Kangaroo.  I’m really not one to talk though.  I had a crush on Egon from the cartoon The Real Ghostbusters…but only the cartoon version.  Sorry Harold Ramis, but the real life version of you did nothing for me.

You Can’t Do That on Television: This Canadian show was at the forefront of the slime movement.  Without this show, Nickelodeon would not be sliming people today…if they even still do that.  And oh yeah, Alanis Morissette was on this show as a kid.

Double Dare: OCD Mark Summers hosted this deliciously messy game show – that fact alone is pretty brilliant.  The number one requirement on this show was to make a fool of yourself and get disgustingly dirty at the same time.  The obstacle course at the end was the best part of the whole show.  Anyone remember searching for the flag up the giant nose?  Awesome.